Funny Or Die
- 17 Apr 15, 3:23pm -

Jimmy Kimmel Live
- 17 Apr 15, 3:23pm -


  • Now Hiring: Human Woman
    JOB TITLE: Human Woman (living) JOB DESCRIPTION: To be a Woman, you’ll have to spend 97% of your mental and emotional energy making yourself small enough to not be a burden. You may spend the other 3% of your energy cherishing dreams of a better wo…
    - 1 day ago, 20 Oct 17, 5:01pm -
  • List: Artisanal Coffee Flavor Profiles Brought to You By Metallica
    LIGHT “Hardwired” – lavender, black pepper, humanity moving inexorably toward self-destruction “Ride the Lightning” – lemon, currant, that final thrill before death finally overtakes you, nutmeg “Dream No More” – orange peel, raisin…
    - 1 day ago, 20 Oct 17, 3:00pm -
  • Monologue: I’m a Millennial With a Microphone Strapped to My Head, So You Better Listen to Me
    Hey, everyone. As you can see, I have microphone strapped to my head, so I probably know what I’m talking about. But you probably already intuited that I probably know what I’m talking about just by the way I strut across the stage and use my han…
    - 1 day ago, 20 Oct 17, 12:01pm -
  • Reviews of New Food
    UFO Leaf Peepin’ Mix Pack (of beer!) Submitted by Stacey Greenberg I recently received a UFO Leaf Peepin’ Mix Pack twelve pack of beers, plus three loose beers from Harpoon Brewery (located in Boston, Mass & Windsor, Vermont) in the MAIL. That’…
    - 1 day ago, 20 Oct 17, 11:59am -
  • The Most Accurate, Detailed Story of My Parents’ Amazing Immigrant Experience
    We were moving from Connecticut to Pennsylvania, and I cried my nine-year-old heart out the entire drive. All my friends! All the New Haven pizza! But that’s when it first occurred to me: my parents once made the move from India to the United State…
    - 2 days ago, 19 Oct 17, 5:01pm -
  • List: Your University’s 11 Distinct Flavors of Discrimination Ranked from Mild to Salty to Extra Spicy
    11. Woke Janet She doesn’t care if you’re “gay or straight or black or purple,” but does insist you should just pull yourself up by the bootstraps, like she did when she got tenure sometime during the late Triassic. Brings in brownies occasio…
    - 2 days ago, 19 Oct 17, 3:01pm -
  • Dispatches from the Resistance: Is Bob Corker in the Resistance Now? But, On the Other Hand, Do I Care?
    “Before the expanded public sphere the transactions themselves are stylized into a show… even arguments are transmuted onto symbols to which again one can not respond by arguing but only by identifying with them.” — Jürgen Habermas “We wi…
    - 2 days ago, 19 Oct 17, 12:00pm -
  • List: New Foundational Garments for the Average Woman
    Now that Arm Tights by Spanx have arrived, ready to conquer the flabby upper arms of women everywhere, an ingenious suite of new female underpinnings are poised to hit stores. A few to consider supporting on Kickstarter: Navel Cork Neither innie nor…
    - 2 days ago, 19 Oct 17, 12:00pm -
  • Surely Nothing Could Go Wrong On This Leaf-Peeping Date
    Planning a romantic first date this fall? A leaf-peeping day trip gets you out of the city and into the fresh air. Follow this easy upstate New York itinerary to catch the autumn colors while they’re as vibrant as your blossoming love. 9 A.M. Take…
    - 3 days ago, 18 Oct 17, 5:00pm -
  • List: Ivanka Trump’s “Punk Phase”: Two Lists
    “Ivanka Trump, in her mother’s new memoir, said she once had a “punk phase” in the nineties.” — The Hill, 10/17/17 - - -Ivanka Trump’s Favorite Punk Songs by Bob Vulvov “Complicit Bop” “I Wanna Be Colluded” “I Bent the Law”…
    - 3 days ago, 18 Oct 17, 3:00pm -

The Onion


  • Toilet Training Your Puppy - Why Crating is Better
    There are many methods you can use for toilet training your puppy. However, crating remains one of the most effective. In fact, crating is so powerful, it is universally recommended by most dog training specialists. To humans this might s…
    - 17 Mar 17, 10:58am -
  • Stopping Puppy Chewing - Different Techniques to Control the Chewing
    When one first brings home a new puppy they can almost always expect some degree of chewing. For one thing puppies are generally either going through or have just completed the teething stage of their life and just like a human baby chewi…
    - 17 Mar 17, 10:57am -
  • Stop Puppy from Digging - Giving Puppies a Better Outlet than Digging
    For many puppy owners digging can quickly become a problem. For most dogs the instinct to dig is bred right into their make-up. It can be difficult to stop a puppy from digging, but it can be done.The first thing you need to do is try to fi…
    - 15 Mar 17, 1:00am -
  • Stop puppy From jumping - Teaching Puppies to Stay “Off”
    Most puppies are just full of energy. They have a tendency to just bounce about the house in a cute manner. However when a puppy starts jumping up on you and others, it may start out as cute, but may turn into a nuisance later on.One re…
    - 13 Mar 17, 7:03pm -
  • The Causes of Scratching in Dogs
    Dogs scratch for any number of reasons. They generally do it to relieve a real itch – the result of an allergy, a flea bite, or an irritation that they might get from time spent out of the house in water, mud, or other irritants.When…
    - 6 Mar 17, 12:00am -