Funny Or Die
- 17 Apr 15, 3:23pm -

Jimmy Kimmel Live
- 17 Apr 15, 3:23pm -


  • This is the Apartment of Your Sad, Sad Dreams
    NEW TO MARKET: Stunningly Renovated 2BR/1BA PERFECT for Today’s Modern Lonely Professional Description Looking for your own apartment in one of downtown’s hottest neighborhoods? Searching for the perfect mausoleum to your once-vibrant personal…
    - 14 hours ago, 27 Jun 17, 5:00pm -
  • I Only Protested the Affordable Care Act Because the President Was Black. Please Don’t Take Away My Health Insurance
    Back in 2009, when the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act was being debated in Congress, I was fuming with anger. How could I, a fiscal conservative, support a program that would drive down my insurance costs and cover my child’s preexistin…
    - 16 hours ago, 27 Jun 17, 3:00pm -
  • List: How to Survive Your First Writer’s Residency
    1. Don’t call it a writer’s “retreat.” It’s a “residency.” “Retreat” implies writers going into the woods to write, drink, and have unprotected intercourse. A “residency” is a period of training for brain surgeons. You are on a…
    - 19 hours ago, 27 Jun 17, 12:00pm -
  • The Life Stages of a New Yorker Caption Contest Junkie
    Modesty An attractive co-worker calls you witty and asks if you ever enter the New Yorker’s Caption Contest. “Maybe once or twice,” you lie. Drunk on approval, you boldly suggest a weekly “you show me yours, I show you mine” caption arrange…
    - 19 hours ago, 27 Jun 17, 12:00pm -
  • Thank You for Registering for Bill Cosby’s Seminar on Sexual Assault
    “Last week, in a case that ended in a mistrial, Bill Cosby avoided a guilty verdict on charges that he drugged and molested a woman. At least 50 other women have accused Cosby of sexual assault. Now, according to Cosby’s spokesperson, the comedia…
    - 2 days ago, 26 Jun 17, 5:00pm -
  • Son, Death is Just a Natural Part of the Legislative Process
    Hey, son. Take a seat. I know that you’re sad about your friends and family who will no longer be able to afford health insurance. Son, this might be hard to hear, but you have to understand: death is just a natural part of the legislative process.…
    - 2 days ago, 26 Jun 17, 3:00pm -
  • List: 8 Male Authors to Read Before You Die
    It is a little demoralizing that, in 2017, this sort of post still needs to be written; nevertheless, male authors continue to be underrepresented in book clubs, on bestseller lists, and as a meaningful part of school curricula. If a survey of the im…
    - 2 days ago, 26 Jun 17, 12:01pm -
  • An Excerpt from Mike Sacks’ Hilarious New Book Stinker Lets Loose
    - - -What follows is an excerpt from long-time contributor Mike Sacks’ hilarious new book Stinker Lets Loose, a re-release of the novelization to the infamous 1970s action flick that we all saw as children and to this day still can’t forget. - -…
    - 2 days ago, 26 Jun 17, 12:00pm -
  • Your Love of Fashion is Interfering with Your Role as a Lady Intellectual
    MEMORANDUM To: Female and female-identifying faculty, staff, and graduate students From: Dr. Hayden Prescott, Mathematics Department Chair CC: Robert Johns, Dean of Faculty Affairs Re: Proper Comportment for an Intellectual Environment It has come to…
    - 5 days ago, 23 Jun 17, 5:00pm -
  • This Coffee Shop Chooses Not to Have Wi-Fi
    The Wi-Fi password? Oh, I’m sorry, sir. We no longer have Wi-Fi. Our owners didn’t like how accessible internet made customers fixate so much on their laptops and phones. Instead, they wanted to foster an environment that encouraged customers to…
    - 5 days ago, 23 Jun 17, 3:01pm -

The Onion


  • Toilet Training Your Puppy - Why Crating is Better
    There are many methods you can use for toilet training your puppy. However, crating remains one of the most effective. In fact, crating is so powerful, it is universally recommended by most dog training specialists. To humans this might s…
    - 17 Mar 17, 10:58am -
  • Stopping Puppy Chewing - Different Techniques to Control the Chewing
    When one first brings home a new puppy they can almost always expect some degree of chewing. For one thing puppies are generally either going through or have just completed the teething stage of their life and just like a human baby chewi…
    - 17 Mar 17, 10:57am -
  • Stop Puppy from Digging - Giving Puppies a Better Outlet than Digging
    For many puppy owners digging can quickly become a problem. For most dogs the instinct to dig is bred right into their make-up. It can be difficult to stop a puppy from digging, but it can be done.The first thing you need to do is try to fi…
    - 15 Mar 17, 1:00am -
  • Stop puppy From jumping - Teaching Puppies to Stay “Off”
    Most puppies are just full of energy. They have a tendency to just bounce about the house in a cute manner. However when a puppy starts jumping up on you and others, it may start out as cute, but may turn into a nuisance later on.One re…
    - 13 Mar 17, 7:03pm -
  • The Causes of Scratching in Dogs
    Dogs scratch for any number of reasons. They generally do it to relieve a real itch – the result of an allergy, a flea bite, or an irritation that they might get from time spent out of the house in water, mud, or other irritants.When…
    - 6 Mar 17, 12:00am -