Funny Or Die
- 17 Apr 15, 3:23pm -

Jimmy Kimmel Live
- 17 Apr 15, 3:23pm -


  • Nevertheless, He Persisted: Tales of Masculine Perseverance
    Even after two too many after-work old-fashioneds, Jim Talbott, 33, sensed that the woman on the Brooklyn-bound L Train was not quite as attracted to him as he was to her. She didn’t smile or thank him when he told her, slurringly, that her dress w…
    - 10 hours ago, 24 Apr 17, 5:00pm -
  • List: 10 Sociopathic Traits to Nurture in Your Child for Huge Success
    How many times have you told your little one that he or she could be president of the United States someday? Translate that sentiment into reality. By following these parenting tips, you can ensure that he or she will have the skills and temperament…
    - 12 hours ago, 24 Apr 17, 3:00pm -
  • Flight Attendant Fight School
    You’re sick of it. No one listens to your safety demonstrations. Passengers prefer to play Candy Crush Saga rather than pay attention to how you’re going to save them in the event of an emergency. And what about those passengers who continuously…
    - 15 hours ago, 24 Apr 17, 12:02pm -
  • Key Ring Chronicles: Swiss Alps Medallion
    - - -In the summer of 1998 I delayed my adulthood for ten weeks and backpacked throughout Europe, traveling with a number of hometown friends along the way. Toward the end of this journey, all my friends went home and I was traveling alone. I spent…
    - 15 hours ago, 24 Apr 17, 11:59am -
  • Release Form for Leading Subjects in Investigative Podcasts
    I hereby grant Producer the right to use my name, likeness, voice, and interview. I further grant the right to reproduce or edit materials however Producer sees fit, knowing full well this will be my sole legacy on Earth. I assert I am one of the fol…
    - 4 days ago, 21 Apr 17, 12:02pm -
  • Monologue: A Few Words from Juicero’s Frazzled Dad
    Hi, I’m Frazzled Dad. You may know me as the star of Juicero’s CEO’s recent web treatise on the value that a glass of cold-pressed juice brings to the world. But I’m more than a flimsy rhetorical device with vague socially progressive overton…
    - 4 days ago, 21 Apr 17, 12:01pm -
  • Book Publicity in the Age of Trump
    Dear person whose email address I accidentally acquired because of an invitation to a cocktail party that wasn’t bcc’ed, I have a book coming out! You might not have heard about it because these days book publicity is much more complicated than a…
    - 4 days ago, 21 Apr 17, 12:01pm -
  • Welcome to the Film Industry, Interns!
    Welcome to Bleak Future Productions and congratulations on being accepted into our internship program. We can’t wait to have you all join us this summer. Since tomorrow is everyone’s first day, I thought it’d be helpful to send you all some inf…
    - 4 days ago, 21 Apr 17, 12:01pm -
  • Introducing: Amazon Primo™
    With marijuana legalization spreading across the country, Amazon is pleased to announce our new service supplementing Amazon Prime: Amazon Primo. We will supply your choice of marijuana preferences, including Maui Wowie, Afghan Widow, or any of our c…
    - 5 days ago, 20 Apr 17, 12:02pm -
  • A Note on the Fabrications and Plagiarism in this Article
    Shortly after the publication of this piece, its author, J. Biederman Pierce, came under some scrutiny for fabrication and plagiarism. We apologize to you, dear reader, for not upholding the high standard of this publication. After reviewing the auth…
    - 5 days ago, 20 Apr 17, 12:01pm -

The Onion


  • Toilet Training Your Puppy - Why Crating is Better
    There are many methods you can use for toilet training your puppy. However, crating remains one of the most effective. In fact, crating is so powerful, it is universally recommended by most dog training specialists. To humans this might s…
    - 39 days ago, 17 Mar 17, 10:58am -
  • Stopping Puppy Chewing - Different Techniques to Control the Chewing
    When one first brings home a new puppy they can almost always expect some degree of chewing. For one thing puppies are generally either going through or have just completed the teething stage of their life and just like a human baby chewi…
    - 39 days ago, 17 Mar 17, 10:57am -
  • Stop Puppy from Digging - Giving Puppies a Better Outlet than Digging
    For many puppy owners digging can quickly become a problem. For most dogs the instinct to dig is bred right into their make-up. It can be difficult to stop a puppy from digging, but it can be done.The first thing you need to do is try to fi…
    - 41 days ago, 15 Mar 17, 1:00am -
  • Stop puppy From jumping - Teaching Puppies to Stay “Off”
    Most puppies are just full of energy. They have a tendency to just bounce about the house in a cute manner. However when a puppy starts jumping up on you and others, it may start out as cute, but may turn into a nuisance later on.One re…
    - 42 days ago, 13 Mar 17, 7:03pm -
  • The Causes of Scratching in Dogs
    Dogs scratch for any number of reasons. They generally do it to relieve a real itch – the result of an allergy, a flea bite, or an irritation that they might get from time spent out of the house in water, mud, or other irritants.When…
    - 50 days ago, 6 Mar 17, 12:00am -